The Big Mac

"The world's most popular sandwich," (according to, well, McDonald's), the Big Mac has been around for four decades. I remember my last one clearly, train wheels runnin' through the back of my memory, although I'm too embarrassed to admit where I ate it. It was many years ago and I did not expect I would ever eat one again. There are far too many great burgers in this town to bother with a Big Mac.

But the other night, when I picked up the McNuggets for my Shanghai McNuggets post, I was given a Big Mac that I neither ordered nor paid for. But seeing as how the McDonald's in South Pasadena has screwed up my order many, many times by not giving me something, I had no problem taking the free Big Mac.

I decided I would write about it. But that meant I had to eat it, of course, and here's the thing: it looked disgusting. Is this what the Big Mac has always looked like? There were a few shreds of white lettuce poking out the sides, the typical plastic-looking cheese, and a couple patties that look like they had been sitting out for weeks. (Actually, that's a horrible description: McDonald's patties don't change appearance when they've been sitting out for years.)

I would love to write that eating a Big Mac again was a beautiful reunion, that I wondered why I'd ever let them leave my life. But I can't. It sucked. It was very dry, even with the "secret sauce," and the dominant taste was the rubbery beef.

Like my experiences at Bob's Big Boy and Shakey's last year, I realized that my tastes have changed and some things I once really liked to eat mean nothing to me now. I was less than halfway through the burger before I realized that this would most likely be the last time I ever ate "the world's most popular sandwich." And I'm more than okay with that.

Did I really choose to eat one of these when I was in  ■■■■?, I thought to myself. What a freaking moron I am.