Rocky Cola Cafe

I have been to Montrose dozens of times to eat since I was a teenager, but I almost always have gone to Zeke's. A couple times I have been to Black Cow Cafe, a few times I have had pupusas at the farmers market, and back when Havana Beach Cafe was open I used to eat there at least once a month. (I have been particularly missing their Cuban sandwich lately.)

But the one place I don't think I have been to since high school is Rocky Cola Cafe, which is funny because once upon a time I absolutely loved it. That was, of course, before I could drive and before I realized that 50s-style diners were more corny than cool. But still, when I was a teenager and my friend Dave lived just a few blocks away, we would often walk up there for dinner. In high school when we used to have Friday night basketball games, several of us on the team would go there for dinner afterwards. There are very few restaurants where I have had more fun.

When I became an adult, going there was just one of those things from the past that once was fun but that I never even thought about, like TPing houses or playing Street Fighter II on Super Nintendo. But the other morning my friend Elizabeth and I were trying to decide what to eat. She was hungry for breakfast and I wanted lunch, so we considered simple, cheap choices. And I mean really simple. At one point we just decided to go to Denny's. But then the subject of flavored Cokes came up and I thought of Rocky Cola. I looked up their menu online and saw that they served breakfast all day. Elizabeth loves diners so we decided to try it.

Walking in was surreal. I have not been there in at least a dozen years, but it felt like it had been several days at the most. I remembered every detail about the layout and most of the signs and posters on the walls. We were seated in the back of the restaurant, up a couple stairs and around the corner, underneath a neon Beatles poster. This is where my friends and I used to prefer to sit when we were 15 because we could cause trouble and none of the employees could see us. Now I liked it because I had a good view of the Lakers-Cavs game on TV and it was quieter, so Elizabeth and I could talk to each other without yelling. Life is funny.

She had the "kitchen sink omelet." I did not try it because it was full of avocados. I realize to most people this is a good thing, but I hate avocado and there was no way to take a bite of the omelet without getting a mouthful of it. She liked it, though, although there was no way she could eat the whole thing; it was huge. I ordered the popcorn chicken. I'm pretty sure that used to be one of my standard orders, along with the fried shrimp and foot-long hot dog. My chicken was outstanding.

We both got Cherry Cokes. I was considering a Vanilla Coke but went with the Cherry, which was great. A table full of kids nearby all got milkshakes, however, and I kind of wanted one of those (a milkshake, not a kid.) Maybe next time, although I wonder if another 13 years will go by before I eat there again. And, if so, will I still get popcorn chicken and a flavored Coke? Probably.

Buffalo Chicken Cheese Balls

More than almost anything, I am a sucker for something with "buffalo chicken" in the title. More than "pulled pork" or "cold beer" or even "live nude girls," if I see buffalo chicken, I want it. A restaurant could list "buffalo chicken dog poop"" and I would consider it.

So the other day while I was watching Food Network and the chef was making fried balls of buffalo chicken and cheese, I knew I had to give it a try. I grilled a couple breasts of spicy chicken and let them cookl, then rolled them into balls with cheddar cheese, hot sauce, and cilantro. I dipped each of these in flour, then egg wash, then bread crumbs, and fried them for just a couple minutes.

On TV the chef had made a dipping sauce of mayo and blue cheese, but I didn't have either, so I used sour cream, chevre cheese, and lemon juice. The balls were fantastic. I have become so sick of the reality and travel shows on Food Network the last few years that I forget that sometimes they come up with some really good recipes. They were very spicy - I added much more than the suggested amount of hot sauce - but that's never really a problem. I will definitely be making these again in the future, maybe even making a batch with a barbecue or Asian flavor.

Fast Food Review: El Pollo Loco Carnitas Chicken Tacos

I always enjoy trying new fast food promotions, even though they're usually not very good. El Pollo Loco, however, comes out with pretty decent promotions. Their grilled chicken tortillas rolls were good. Years ago they came out with the "fuego chili orange chicken" burrito that was amazing. Unfortunately, it was only available for a couple months and they haven't brought it back since.

The other day I saw a commercial for "carnitas chicken." I was intrigued, although I had absolutely no idea that carnitas could be chicken - I thought carnitas was always braised pork. Still, it's nowhere near as confusing as Burger King's "chicken fries" or "angry whopper,"and, like I said, I usually enjoy El Pollo Loco's promotions.

Not this time. This was simply one of the worst tacos I have ever had. The small pieces of chicken were full of fat and grease. They were either fried or grilled and then fried. El Pollo Loco claims that these are full of citrus flavor and spices. All I could taste was grease. The website says these tacos only contain 6 grams of fat. I would be willing to bet you get that much in each bite. The filthiest taco truck you will ever find will make you a healthier taco, and probably at half the price.

I also got a crunchy chicken taco, which was nothing special but worlds better than the chicken carnitas. Still, neither is as good as the chicken tortilla roll, and nothing they've ever had was better than the fuego chili orange chicken, which they inexplicably refuse to bring back. I would write them another letter and ask them to bring it back, but my spirit is broken after my failed attempts with McDonald's and the Shanghai McNuggets.

Super Bowl Sunday

Super Bowl Sunday is my 4th favorite day of the year, trailing only Thanksgiving, 4th of July, and my birthday. Even though I've never loved an NFL team, I still love the NFL. When I was a kid our teams were the Rams and Raiders, neither of which I really liked. And both teams left town before my senior year of high school, so I have not had a hometown team for my entire adult life. I lived 20 miles from Denver during the '99 NFL season, and I briefly flirted with being a Broncos fan, but it didn't feel right. (It also didn't help when the Denver police teargassed us at the Colorado-Colorado State game at Mile High Stadium because they had been instructed by the Broncos to "protect the field" from unruly fans.)

Plus, I was raised on college football. After you've watched a UCLA game at the Rose Bowl on a perfect autumn Saturday or watched a USC game from the sideline at the Coliseum (both of which I've done several times,) following professional football seems hollow.

Super Bowl Sunday is almost always a nice day. The only exception I can think of was last year, but even then, it was so nice to see the Cheaters get upset and their a-hole coach storm off the field, I didn't even notice the bad weather. This year we watched the game at my buddy Murph's house. He just moved into a great space in Old Town a few months ago and he's got a nice plasma tv in his living room. Everyone brought food. Murph is one of the best guys you will ever meet, but he doesn't cook or even keep food in his house. When I opened his fridge there was Mountain Dew, beer, vodka, and a pizza box. Later in the day I opened the pizza box just to see where he had gotten pizza, and it was completely empty. Priceless.

My friends Tracie and Rachel put out an impressive spread of cheese, crackers, chips, salsa, and fruit. I had asked a couple days earlier if my friends would like me to make sliders or pulled pork egg rolls. They replied overwhelmingly that they wanted my balls. In the past I have made meatballs that are always a hit, and the only thing they elicit more than compliments is ball jokes. It's like we're 12 again (but it's still funny.) I cooked several bags of Trader Joe's "Party Size Meatballs" in my wok with beer, just to get them defrosted, then I dumped them in the crock pot with diced green onions, parmesan cheese, and Guinness flavored Bull's Eye. As always, they were good. Most people just took a few on a plate, although at one point I looked over at my brother and noticed he had filled a styrofoam cup to the brim with meatballs and was eating them with a spoon, like albondigas soup without the soup.

The last picture is a plate of soy meatballs. My friend Rob is a vegetarian, but it didn't seem fair that he wouldn't get to try my balls, so I cooked one bag of Trader Joe's "meatless meatballs" just for him. I tried one, and it was pretty good, although not quite as good as the regular meatballs.

It was an average game with an amazing 4th quarter. Predictably, as always happens these days after a sporting event with an exciting finish, people in the media rushed to proclaim it "the best Super Bowl ever!" It was not. Not even close. Other than the interception runback as time expired, the 1st half was a boring, badly-played half. But it was one of the best 4th quarters ever. And, of course, it was a great day. Super Bowl Sunday always is.

Destination: Beirut

The next in the series of my Destination Dinners was Kibbeh bil-Saneeyeh (baked spiced lamb) from Lebanon. It's been years since I have had Lebanese food. With the exception of Italian, there is not another cuisine with which I have had such a big disparity in the quality of food. I have had shawarma that melted in my mouth and made me almost smack the table with joy. I have also had kebabs that were impossible to bite into and dense, over-fried falafel that would have bounced of the walls like superballs if I had been so inclined to throw them.
My dinner kit included bulgur wheat, pine nuts, and several pre-measured spices, including cumin, fenugreek, cloves, cinnamon, sumac, ginger, and several others. I also received two mezze dishes with a packet of za'atar. I had to buy pita bread and a pound of ground lamb. (It also gave me a shopping list of ingredients and a recipe for tzatziki sauce, but I found it cheaper and easier to just buy a container of garlic tzatziki from Whole Foods.)
I made dinner for my friends Tracie and Elizabeth (although three other friends dropped by when they heard I was making this for dinner.) The traditional adult beverage with Lebanese food is Arak - an aniseed-flavored liquor that often is more than 90% ABV. That sounded like a recipe for disaster - especially when we all had plans for the Super Bowl the next day - so we instead stuck with Trader Joe's wine. (Although my friend Jim brought over a couple six packs of MGD 64, which is surprisingly good.)
First, I cut up some pita bread and put out the mezze dishes with olive oil in one and the za'atar in the other. You dip the bread in the oil and then the za'atar. This was delicious. (You don't have to eat too many Mediterranean meals to understand why Americans are so fat; the night before my appetizer had been fried mozzarella with a mayonnaise sauce.)
I soaked the bulgur wheat in water for about twenty minutes, during which the wheat absorbed a large amount of the water. I mixed about half the lamb with the wheat and cooked the other half with pine nuts in a pan. I layered half the lamb/bulgur mix in a pan, covered it with the lamb/pine nuts, and layered the rest of the lamb/bulger on top. Then I baked it in the oven for about 45 minutes.
We made pita sandwiches with the tzatzki sauce. They were very good, although we all agreed some red onion and lettuce would have made them much better. Overall it was a nice meal, but definitely not as good as the pineapple chicken dinner from Thailand.