The movie Diggstown, Andrew Toney's crossover move, Sunset Riders on Sega Genesis... these are just three things I love that I don't spend much time - well, any time, really - talking about with other people. But sometimes I meet someone who appreciates those things as much as I do. And every once in a great while the subject of McDonald's hot mustard comes us and I see that look in someone's eyes: they love it just as much.
I have been reading reports for more than five years now that McDonald's is going to discontinue the hot mustard, but not once have I asked for it and been told by an employee that they are out of it. I doubt it's going anywhere. I never considered writing about it in so much depth. But then something happened the other day. While I was eating McNuggets, I noticed this writing in the box:
But that hot mustard sauce is... well, it's special. It is unmistakably mustard, but it has a bit of heat to it, a vinegar punch. I have been eating it for as long as I can remember. I won't go into too many stories, but I could:
I used to ask for six hot mustards every time I went to McDonald's. Sometimes they charged me, sometimes they didn't. At one point I had a reserve of perhaps 50 of them, but over the years I used them all.
I once adhered bread crumbs to a piece of chicken using nothing but a smear of egg wash and a tub of McDonald's hot mustard. I baked the chicken in the oven for 25 minutes and served it to two friends. They both proclaimed it "absolutely amazing" (yeah, they were both drunk, but still) and begged me for the recipe.
I once stopped at a McDonald's in the morning on a drive from Portland to Sacramento. It was early November and the sky was so blue it almost hurt my eyes to look at it. In fact, here is a picture from the McDonald's parking lot:
She laughed but then saw that I was serious. She went off and got the manager. After a few seconds of contemplating, he decided he just couldn't do it - not because he didn't want my money, but because that was all the hot mustard sauce he had left. I left with my ten packets of sauce. In my memory I had eaten them all by the time I got back to Pasadena, but that can't be right.
It's been my preferred sauce for McNuggets for as long as I can remember.
But it's not just McNuggets that the hot mustard sauce complements:
And, in case you're wondering, it's not just McDonald's grub with which I use the sauce:
Thank you for following along. Normally I wouldn't have written so much about a fast food condiment but, with the loss of Popeye's Delta Sauce, it's probably my favorite one out there. And seeing it disrespected by McDonald's upset me. I don't choose any of those other sauces, McDonald's: I choose the hot mustard. Because it's the best one you've got. Even if you don't realize it.