Fast Food Review: Jack in the Box Chorizo Chili Cheesy Fries

I've had chorizo many different ways. By itself. In tacos. On pizza. Fresh off the grill and wrapped in pita bread, sweating bright red oil that stains your fingertips for the rest of the day. Sliced on a tapas plate with cheese. In a sandwich. And thrown on a plate with some fried potatoes at eight in the morning in the mountains of Baja, perhaps the single best breakfast of my life.

But I've never had chorizo on french fries. In truth, it never occurred to me to try. But then I saw a sign at Jack in the Box for their new Chorizo Chili "Cheesy" fries and I thought Well, okay, why not? It was only $1.99, and people always seem to enjoy when I try new fast food promotions. I have been told more than once that my suffering for my art is appreciated. (Although I must admit it gave me pause when I saw the basic cheese fries are only $1.79. Really? The chorizo chili is only valued at 20 cents? That can't be a good sign.)

And done correctly, I could see these being really good. 

But here comes one of the more predictable sentences you will ever read on this blog: they were not good. 

As you may have noticed in the pictures, all of the chorizo chili was shoved to one side of the fries, painting one wall of the box with grease and cheese. Most of the fries had no topping. I'm not a fan of Jack's boring, shoestring fries, but if they are fresh out of the oil I will still eat them. These were barely room temperature, tasting only of that starchy, mushy flavor of potatoes that have been cooked hours earlier.

The chili wasn't bad. Not particularly good, but pretty tasty with a slight spice. Only here's the thing: without exaggeration, it was the saltiest thing I have ever eaten. I drank three 16oz glasses of water after eating the chili and it made no difference. I had a fourth glass after a while; the taste of salt remained in my mouth for more than two hours. 

I guess I shouldn't have expected too much from a $1.99 snack from Jack in the Box. Chorizo chili cheese fries are an excellent idea, and at some point I may even try to make some myself. But I will never try these again.

Fast Food Review: Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito

Taco Bell is a funny one. Usually they just recycle the same items - nacho cheese, rice, beef, tortillas, etc. - in new combinations, with new names, and call it a new product. This time around, all the usual suspects are there (including the always present "low fat sour cream") but with a new wrinkle: Flamin' Hot Fritos.

I was pretty sure I knew exactly how this was going to taste, but I was intrigued by the addition of the Fritos. I prefer other varieties, but the Flamin' Hot isn't bad. And I always like contrast of textures when chips are in a sandwich. Plus, this thing only costs 99 cents (and it's "only" 510 calories, which makes it health food compared to some of TB's burritos.) And lately I have an ulterior motive for visiting Taco Bell: I can stuff my pockets with packets of their Border Salsa, which I have taken to putting on lots of foods.

(BTW, the phrase "pockets with packets" is a very enjoyable one to say. Try it right now, you'll see what I mean.)

So I stopped by Taco Bell, ordered a burrito for a buck and some change, and took it out to my car to eat. It wasn't particularly big when I unwrapped it - although expecting it to be big for that price would have been silly - and, upon first bite, realized my instincts were correct: I knew exactly how it was going to taste. It tasted like many other similar burritos from Taco Bell. I had never had this burrito before, but I've had it many times, if you know what I mean.

The addition of the Fritos was nice. They indeed provide a fair amount of heat. I didn't even have to add extra hot sauce for this burrito; normally I add hot sauce to anything I eat from Taco Bell to increase the (usually bland) flavor.

Would I go so far as to call this good? No. Your life will not be missing much if you don't eat this burrito. But, much like Taco Bell's Chicken Flatbread Sandwich, this is a cheap, inoffensive snack. You could do a lot worse at Taco Bell.

Christmas Weekend Eats

The last couple years, Elizabeth has gone back to New York to visit her sisters at Christmas. Again this year she left on Christmas Eve (in the morning) and we went out to dinner with my parents and brother the night before. Last year we went to Gale's, two years ago we went to Tani. But neither dinner was particularly fun; places are crowded on that night. Why not go somewhere less formal (and cheaper), I reasoned, since it's probably not going to be a special dinner. We all decided on Robin's BBQ.

And indeed it was crowded. At first they tried to cram all five of us into a semi-circle booth. At the identical booth right next to it there were four people, two adults and two little girls, and that booth was too small for them. I looked at the waiter to see if he was joking. I'm 6'2"... and both my dad and brother are taller than I am. There was no possible way all five of us were sitting here.

So we got a table in the back corner of the restaurant, and service was terrible for the whole dinner. Whatever.

We started with an order of potato skins with tri tip, cheddar, and spicy barbecue sauce. They were outstanding, by far the best thing any of us ate that evening. It's always disappointing when the appetizer is the best dish to hit the table, but these were definitely delicious.

My mom got an appetizer of rib tips and some cole slaw. They were okay but not as good as usual.

Elizabeth got the Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. She did not complain about it but I took a bite and thought it was lousy: tough, flavorless steak.

My brother was very disappointed in the lack of tenderness in his full rack of baby back ribs. I did not try any.

My dad and I both got pulled pork sandwiches. They were good, but not great - they were on the dry side and I had to cover mine in sauce. (Thankfully, I like all of the sauces that Robin's uses.) Robin's pulled pork has been very good over the last couple years, but this was not a good example of that.

This was my least favorite visit to Robin's in a long time. They were very busy, so perhaps they weren't paying attention to service and quality like they should have been... but that is a reason, never an excuse. Next year I might just make dinner at home for everyone on December 23rd - it never seems to go well when we go out.

On Christmas Eve, after taking Elizabeth to the airport, I had an idea for the leftover ribs. I cut the meat off a couple bones and mixed it with two different sauces: a South Carolina-style mustard sauce and an Eastern Carolina-style vinegar sauce. I then put some of each onto a couple of slider buns. The pork was much better this way.

I reheated the half of the cheesesteak sandwich that Elizabeth had left from the night before. It still was not very good and I could not think of anything to do with it.

My parents got what was perhaps the largest prime rib roast I have ever seen: 7 bones, 17 pounds. From Taylor's in Sierra Madre, of course. It was gorgeous.

 

The rib was too big to fit in the pan, so I cut off an end piece and decided that would be all mine. I mixed up a paste of Parmesan cheese, black pepper, and - why not? - Zankou garlic sauce. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.

While the prime rib was roasting in the oven I put a holiday classic in the DVD player, perhaps the best Christmas movie ever made and one that warms the hearts of my family every year:

Die Hard.

My cousins Ed and June and my friend Carla came over to my parents' house to join my parents, brother and me for dinner. My dad decided to open wines from 1970, figuring they probably were too old by this point. For the most part he was correct, however the Haut-Brion was outstanding and one of the Lafittes was okay. But the Chateau Margaux and the rest of the Lafittes were bad.

I made a simple appetizer of burrata, proscuitto, roasted red pepper and basil. Just something to snack on with the wine while we waited for dinner to be ready.

The roast when it was pulled out of the oven. We let it rest for half an hour.

My piece crusted with the cheese and Zankou sauce.

My brother likes the action shots so he took one of me preparing to slice it.

Not too bad, eh?

There were green beans with mushrooms. Good, not great.

My cousin, Ed, made his Caesar salad. Sometimes it is the best Caesar I have ever had. This wasn't quite there - Ed admitted that himself - but it was still delicious.

I quartered new potatoes and roasted them with olive oil, fresh rosemary and chopped garlic. They were tasty, just as the other sides were, but nothing was as good as the meat.

There was a dessert but it had far too much fruit on it for my liking - I mean, that almost makes it healthy - so I took the fruit off a slice and my brother caramelized some sugar on top of it with my kitchen torch. It was much better that way.

A 17-pound prime rib split among seven people yields lots of leftovers. Christmas morning I added some prime rib to a breakfast burrito of eggs, cheese, cilantro, and Taco Lita hot sauce.

For lunch I carved some meat and put it on slider buns with cheese and barbecue sauce. They were a tasty meal.

For a mid-day snack I did the same thing with some jack cheese laced with dill and a couple dollops of Tiger sauce. Also tasty.

I slow-cooked some meatballs all day on Christmas Day and tried to decide what to do with them. I made myself a sandwich on a hot dog bun with fries, cheese, and chopped green onions. This was a wonderful sandwich. I don't put fried potatoes in enough sandwiches.

I rolled one meatball in Parmesan cheese and parsley. It was also great.

Perhaps I got a little pretentious here. I put some meatballs on a plate with Parmesan and parsley and drizzled it with a sweet chili sauce. 

It was definitely a good weekend for eating.